Sleepless Fate Read online

  Sleepless Fate

  Janae Keyes

  Sleepless Fate

  Copyright © 2016, Janae Keyes

  All Rights Reserved

  This is a work of fiction. References to real people, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are products of the author’s imagination and used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely fictional and not meant to be considered real.

  Cover Design: Courtney Cannon

  To my mother,

  You taught me to be a woman;

  An independent, strong-minded, and hard-working woman

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Epilogue - 1 1/2 Years Later

  About the Author

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter One

  Brielle

  THURSDAYS. THURSDAYS WERE always the same. They had been the same for the past two years. I did the same exact thing every Thursday. I couldn’t miss Thursday. It was another Thursday and here I was doing the same thing, holding his hand.

  Sitting here the room is nearly quiet. I’ve learned to block out the other sounds, the sounds of the machines no longer seem to phase me and they blend into the background. His hand is nearly lifeless, but I hold it anyway, just hoping that one day it can hold mine back. For now, I just hold it, wait, and hope.

  I inhaled the stale hospital air, at this point I was so used to it I didn’t even notice. Two years of spending so many days in this small room, looking at him covered in tubes. It had been two years of him being essentially asleep and unresponsive to the world. Two years exactly…

  “Hey sweetie,” I said as I pulled a sandwich from my bag, staring down at him. I don’t know why, but every week I waited for a response as if there would actually be one for me. I inhaled and then exhaled out the disappointment that this was just another day without a response. I missed his voice so much. Coming home from work to him, wrapping his arms around me and whispering “Baby” in my ear. There was so much about him to miss. He had a smile that lit up the room and even when I was mad at him, he could turn it all around and somehow make me smile. He was the love of my life.

  “They had a new sandwich at the deli today. I thought I would give it a try. It is Tandoori Chicken. I know how much you enjoy Indian Food,” I rambled. Every week I told him all about my lunch and chatted away mindlessly. The doctor said that sometimes coma patients can hear, and I just hoped that when he awoke, he would remember all our one-sided conversations. All I could do at this point was hope. “I see your dad came by and cut your hair,” I observed his freshly cut dark and coarse hair before taking a bite of my sandwich. I observed the features on his face. His once full and round face was now sunken and hollow. His caramel skin that was so full of life seemed faded and dull.

  Keaton and I had been together since High School. He asked me to the 10th Grade Winter Dance and from that moment we were inseparable. I loved him so much. We both picked the same undergrad University and when he went into Nursing School I went into Business School. From there we moved in together. It was the romance that every girl dreamt of, and I had it. Everyday I had Keaton and he had me. Of course we had our problems, but we knew just how to work through them and we did.

  I would never forget the day he proposed. We had just moved into our new place after I got a promotion on my job. He wanted to go out and celebrate. We had a great dinner and then took a walk along Pier 39 in San Francisco. It was cold out and he offered me his jacket. After a few minutes of walking with it on he told me to reach for something in his pocket. I found a box and was instructed to open it. Inside was a beautiful diamond ring. I was staring so hard at the ring that I didn’t notice that he’d dropped down on one knee. He couldn’t even get the words out of his mouth before I was screaming, “YES! YES! YES!” We were in our very own fairytale written by us, until that one Saturday morning.

  Keaton generally worked nights. I would come home from my job and we would eat dinner together before I had to go off to work the next morning. I was happy he wasn’t in a profession where I had to worry too much about his safety; I was able to sleep soundly every night and wake up in the mornings to his arms wrapped around me.

  It was a Friday night and of course Keaton and I had dinner together. We’d gotten into a stupid fight. I hated when we fought, but at the time it seemed to be something we did often. Though we had fought, he still kissed me before he left, like he always did. It was stress and nerves, but I knew we would make it past that rough period. After he left, a couple of my friends came over since my wedding date was getting closer and they were my bridesmaids. We had pizza and laughed for hours while they helped me put together favors. They went home and I went to bed. It was 7AM when my phone rang. Groggily, I answered the it. It was Angela, on the other end. I knew her from events with Keaton’s co-workers. She was one of the nurses he worked with. She was frantic and soon I became frantic as well.

  Keaton was on the way home from the hospital when a drunk driver ran a red light and slammed into his car. The driver had only been 17 and he died upon impact. Keaton wasn’t dead, but he was nearly there. The first few weeks were complete hell, not having any idea if he would make it or not. He didn’t die, but he didn’t wake up either. Two years he had been in this state and for two years I had come here just hoping that he would open his eyes. It’d been two years exactly to the day.

  “Work is getting heavy. We are getting loose ends tied up before summer and the end of the fiscal quarter,” I explained before I took the last bite of my sandwich.

  I packed away the trash from my lunch and used my napkin to wipe my fingers, before taking his hand in mine. It wasn’t exactly cold, but it wasn’t warm either. I sighed and let a tear fall from my eyes. I just wanted things to go back to how they were before. We hadn’t had the chance to get married or have kids. We were cut off right before everything started. It was the end of the line suddenly and we weren’t able to continue our lives. I hated every second of it.

  “You know it has been two years as of today,” I choked out. I had been telling myself that I wouldn’t cry, but just the thought that two entire years of our lives had passed by and he was still here in this bed letting time carry on without him, it was too much. I took my free hand and wiped away my tears. “I love you… so much… and I miss… you,” I sobbed. My emotions were welling up and getting the best of me. I just wanted to be strong for him. I’d managed to be strong for so long, but today I was losing that battle.

  “Just wake up, dammit!” I screamed before putting my face into my hands and sobbing uncontrollably. I needed him back. I needed to feel his touch and hear his voice. I needed time to reverse.

  “Ma’am, are you okay?” asked a voice. I looked up to see a nurse in the doorway.

  “Yes. Sorry,” I insisted even though I knew everything was wrong.

  “It’s fine. Just wanted to check on you. Here, have a tissue,” She said as she handed me a box and gave me a kind smile. I smiled weakly back as I accepted the tissues and she left as quietly as she appeared. It was only me and Keaton again in the endless quiet.


  “I guess I will go home. I’ll be back next week. I love you,” I declared as I stood from my chair. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I took in his scent. It was so different from before. I let out a sigh before picking up my bag. I walked to the door and turned around giving him one final look before walking out. Leaving him for another week, hoping I would return and he would be awake.

  THE DRIVE HOME from the hospital was just over an hour, a very long hour. He was taken straight to the trauma center for head injuries right after the accident, which was an hour away from the closest hospital, the hospital in which he was employed. I only made the commute there once a week, always on Thursdays. My co-workers were amazing and it was great that I was able to only work the morning on those days so I could make the trip to see him. During my drive I always sent up a prayer that he would be awake by next Thursday and I wouldn’t have too many more of these weekly journeys ahead of me. I waited patiently every week for my prayer to be answered.

  Returning home, I placed my keys on the table next to the door and sat on the couch. Sitting became lying. I held on tightly to a throw pillow as I started to cry. This week was harder than others. I think mainly because of the anniversary. Milestones had always been hard weeks. I would think by now I would be used to them, but, alas, they kept coming, and each one like the last was more difficult to get through. I hated feeling like the light had been drained from my home and myself. Keaton brought the light wherever he went. He was always so happy and you couldn’t help, but smile when around him. Without him, there was only dim confusion and despair.

  I sat up and stared at the wall. I was alone. I would think that I would have gotten used to being alone, but still everyday it felt like such a new experience. I pulled myself up from the couch and walked into the bedroom. I plucked a pair of pajamas from my dresser drawer and slowly changed into them. I opened up the closet to pick out what I would wear to work the next day. When I opened the door, I could smell Keaton, the way he used to smell. His side of the closet remained exactly the same as he left it two years ago. I ran the tips of my fingers across the clothes. I pulled out his favorite shirt. It was a T-Shirt he bought the summer we decided to go to Paris. We had the best time and he bought a T-Shirt to remember it by. Most days he had slept in it. I held onto the shirt and inhaled his scent. It was starting to fade, but enough remained to fill my senses with memories of him I quickly put it back. I had tortured myself enough for one day. I shut the closet and left the room.

  I just couldn’t understand why it had to be Keaton that night. Our lives were turned upside down by some stupid teenager who wanted to get wasted and then decided to drive a car. I wanted my life back, I just wanted Keaton home.

  I curled into my empty bed as I’d done for the past two years. I looked off to Keaton’s side of the bed. Though, many nights he was working and he didn’t sleep with me anyway, I still missed knowing that he did sleep here. I pulled his pillow close to me and held it. My heart was pounding as I closed my eyes and allowed more tears to come. Maybe next Thursday he would be awake for me.

  Chapter Two

  Brielle

  MY ESCAPE FROM it all was my job. I’d worked very hard to get to where I was in my career. Business school had kicked my butt, but it paid off and I was rewarded with a great job and I was climbing the ladder. I was a little pissed off that I was passed up for the last promotion I’d put in for. The position of Chief Operations Officer had been open, but they had given it to someone else.

  Looking at the clock, I realized it was getting pretty close to lunch and I still had some loose ends to tie, as I had a meeting with the new COO after lunch. I turned towards my phone and pressed a button to call out to my assistant.

  “April, can you print those latest numbers and bring them to me?” I asked.

  “Printing now,” A female voice responded through the speaker on my phone.

  Only moments later a tall blonde wearing black framed glasses entered my office. Her facial features were round, soft, and friendly, but this firecracker was no angel. I was so happy that I could have my best friend work for me. April and I had been friends since middle school and when I made it to a point in my career where I needed an assistant, it just so happened that my best friend was looking for a job.

  “Got your numbers right here,” April said as she placed a small stack of papers on the edge of my desk.

  “Thanks so much,” I said to my friend who plopped down on one of the two chairs in front of my desk.

  “So it is Friday night. My mother-in-law has the kids and Nate is out of town on business. We should go out with the girls,” She suggested. I simply shook my head and she let out a sigh.

  “You know I don’t go out,” I stated plainly looking at my computer screen while trying to avoid April’s blue-eyed gaze.

  “You used to,” She also stated plainly.

  “Yeah, that was before…” My voice trailed off.

  “I know,” There was a silence between the two of us. “Bri… I’m concerned about you. You’ve locked yourself into this metaphorical time capsule. How long will you wait for him?”

  “Forever, you know that. I will wait forever if that is how long it will take for him to wake up,” I looked directly at her as I spoke. I knew I sounded crazy. Waiting forever would mean that I would watch my entire life waste away. I was 27 years old and I had so much time to go, but Keaton and I had planned to live that time together.

  “Bri, I’m worried about you.”

  “How so?”

  “You are wasting away. You’ve lost so much weight and I can’t watch you suffer anymore. You need an end game. You need to figure out a point where you will move on. Two years has already been a long time.” She just stared at me. I couldn’t deny any of her words because I knew it was true. I barely ate and most nights I barely slept. I was a shell of who I used to be. “I just want my best friend back.”

  “I can’t do this right now,” I choked out, climbing to my feet in a rush. Facing it all was the last thing on my to do list. Normally, I was fine with April’s comments about my weight loss and the way I pushed everyone away. This week was not the week. It was the anniversary and I was deep in that place, I loved April dearly, but this wasn’t the week for her talks. “I need to go to the restroom,” As fast as I could, I made it out of my office and down the hall to the ladies’ room. I closed myself in a stall and allowed my tears to flow. I heard the door of the bathroom open and close. I knew it was April.

  “Bri,” came her voice softly. “I’m sorry, but you know I had to say it. I’m not going to just stand around while I watch my best friend suffer.”

  I took a deep breath before I unlocked the stall and stepped out to see her standing there. I was grateful for April. Of everyone, she was the one who said what was on her mind and never filtered it for me. My mom tried to skirt around it, my dad just agreed with my mom, and my sister just refused to acknowledge it. Keaton’s parents were just as hopeless as I was. Just like me, they lied to themselves about it and held onto a useless hope. April wasn’t going to be gentle, but she was going to tell it like it was. I admired that trait about her.

  “Maybe, when everything quiets down around here we can take a girl’s trip. I know how hard summers are for you without him,” April suggested. I simply shrugged.

  Summer was Keaton’s favorite season. He would spend so much time on the beach and going surfing. Some evenings if he didn’t have to work he would pick me up from my office and we would have a picnic on the beach while watching the sunset. I hated summer without his excitement, laughter, and joy.

  “Maybe, but for now I’m so busy. I have a meeting with the new COO after lunch,” I commented as I looked at myself in the mirror. I took a piece of paper towel and wiped the tears away from my milk chocolate cheeks. I pulled my dark wavy hair around to the front of my shoulder as I tried to pull myself together.

  “OH EM GEE!!! Have you met him yet?” April instantly perked up.<
br />
  “Umm, no,” I wondered what her excitement was all about.

  “I rode up on the elevator with him this morning. The man is pure sex... So hot!” April was fanning herself as she spoke about him. “If I wasn’t a married mother of two I would hit that and keep hitting that all night long.”

  “April, that’s not office talk,” I scolded, but I couldn’t help, but chuckle at my clearly undersexed best friend. Though one thing was for sure, she wasn’t as undersexed as me. “I hear he is old man Oliver’s son. Just what I need, another trust fund brat to babysit.” I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t looking forward to this meeting at all.

  “His stepson, actually,” April corrected.

  “Same difference. Still nepotism.”

  LUNCH WAS THE same as I spent it every workday. I sat alone in my office picking at my food, barely taking bites. I think my body had gotten used to surviving on just bites of food a day. I packed up what I needed and made my way towards the executive floor of our office.

  Getting off the elevator, I found myself in a reception area with dark brown leather couches and plants. Sitting at the receptionist desk was a girl who used to work on my floor before she got bumped up.

  “Brielle, hi!” She said cheerfully as she spotted me.

  “Hey Layla. I have a meeting with Mr. Bailey,” I informed the perky brunette.

  “Yep, I see you on the schedule. You can go right in,” she said. I gave her a smile and went to the door of his office. I gave a couple knocks out of courtesy.

  “Come in!” Shouted a male voice.

  I opened the door and walked into the large office. The floor to ceiling windows showcased one of the most beautiful views of the San Francisco Bay I’d ever seen. This was for sure a perk of having our offices in the Transamerica Pyramid, the tallest skyscraper in San Francisco. There was a wall with a tank built into it full of exotic fish, and one side of the room had two couches and a coffee table. Right in front of the windows was a dark cherry wood desk. The back of the chair was turned to me, but it was obvious someone was sitting in it.